And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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