so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
