What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
