One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
