i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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