Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize