90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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