Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
