Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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