She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
At least life still wants to fuck me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
