ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
