He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
