why didn't you poke me back
if only i could text you this smell
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize