whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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