saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
