elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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