Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
