no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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