So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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