It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
