HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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