Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
