I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize