And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
