I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
