Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
