All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
