making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
