It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
