I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
