I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
