I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
