Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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