all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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