Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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