So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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