Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
