I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
