she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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