Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
there is puke in my bra ... again
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