Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize