y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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