dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
