the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
