i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
As shirtless as possible
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
