Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I could fuck to npr.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize