And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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