I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
