ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
