Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
