what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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