Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
