I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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