i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize