I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
