oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
