Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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