I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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