he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
